Tuesday, 2 April 2019

INSTALMENT ONE - INTRODUCING YOU (AND ME) TO FUMBLE





So, I’m back on the horse…it appears that my latest ‘Keeper of an ex’ didn’t want to be, well ‘KEPT’…by ‘ME’ anyway…and so sadly he’s now just a distant memory; but a good memory…I want to say ‘his loss…’ but who am I kidding. 

I’ve put the work in and I’ve come out the other side with just a couple of bruises but no lasting damage thanks to ‘no contact’ done THIS way.  And to his credit he hasn’t tried to contact me to dick me about.  If my calculations are correct it’s been 10 or so weeks now since he did away with me albeit with no drama involved.  We’ve had no form of contact with each other WHATSOEVER since the dumping happened, I didn’t want it to come to this, although it has and I’m good(ish) to go…

…and what better way to get back on the dating horse than by downloading a dating app…let’s call it ‘Fumble’.  Now I chose Fumble as the first dating app I’ve ever used because the concept just befuggles and astounds me.  It messes with the wiring of my brain.  It actually astonishes me – I don’t believe it can work; so I’m intrigued...Because **SHOCK** it’s FREEEEEE which means there’s no filter AND on top of this…

…it’s unique selling point is quite frankly…warped because ***THE LADY TAKES THE LEAD*** … ***AND HAS TO TAKE THE LEAD…*** …And there’s a LOT wrong with that IMO.

I don’t like it…sorry, but men are generally lazy enough when it comes to dating…I don’t mean lazy about securing a hook-up – no they can be a little too pro-active where that is concerned…but I mean getting themselves a ‘date that is not necessarily going to convert into anything physical’ especially when they have no prior knowledge or interest in the lady concerned; sorry guys but generally, you’re lazy as…in this scenario.  

That’s not your fault…it’s nature…but this app actively encourages lazy men and otherwise not lazy men to catch the lazy bug…which is the beginning of…just…yuck…bloody entitlement! This app, I fear, is a breading ground for entitled men.  Men that before this were not entitled but as a result of this app are getting a bit of a taste for the old 'do jack for unwarranted reward'.

So this godforsaken app is going to actively encourage and reward you men out there to swipe right for every single female with a profile on Fumble and then pick and choose who you fancy conversing with when/if they initiate contact with you.  And you get to ‘respond’…you don’t actually have to do anything to get the convo started.  Blokes on this app now just have to swipe right for every single girl and then settle back and wait to see who strikes up a conversation with them and then ignore them if they don’t like what they see or get away with giving a lame ass response???  What is this??? 

Erm lads…!  Be honest…!  Can you recall a single instance where you gave the time of day (in the form of respect, a healthy relationship, or marriage) to a woman WHO CHASED YOU RIGHT FROM THE VERY OUTSET…doubt it!  I’m not saying you didn’t maybe errmmm ‘take advantage’ of the situation, but I’m guessing you never put a ring of the metal kind on her finger.

And I’m also willing to say that what attracted me so much to ‘the Keeper’ was that he pursued me…he enjoyed that part, I could tell…and I enjoyed it too, he could tell…so that’s one bit of enjoyment I’m not going to get out this.  For us it complimented the type of people we are…I like to be hunted and he likes to hunt –caveman/cave-woman style!  I don't think this is a weird concept either.  On the contrary...I think when a man and woman GENUINELY like each other this is the preferred role for both. 

I’m just not expecting much here other than the potential to meet entitled men from beginners to experts and all of the spectrum in between.  Fumble claims that it is empowering for women and encourages equality….UN-BE-LIEVE-ABLE!!!! 

This App has clearly been designed by a fucking-lazy-ass-DEFINITELY ENTITLED-man who wants to enable other men who lack communication skills as he does, to contribute NOTHING to the dating process other than turn up, as the bare minimum, but has put a clever little old marketing spin on Fumble's promotion by claiming clap-trap akin to ‘The Woman Is In Control Of Her Own Destiny’…yes…The Woman Is In Control Of Her Own Destiny by downloading a dating app that unwittingly is going to feed her to a den of Entitled slathering, hungry for take, take, taking men…I can see what’s going to happen here already.  But it’s an experiment and I can sniff out the entitled and deal with them accordingly….and if when I come across any…I’ll be letting you all know…so you can look forward to THAT expletive riddled post. 

I don’t know how long this little journey is going to go on for…I think I’ve got a fair amount of writing material already…so…in anticipation of this dating experience continuing for at least a few installments, I shall link all related posts at the end of this post as and when I complete them…

Well, it’s too late to change my mind, I’ve downloaded Fumble…I feel a bit guilty strangely, like I’m cheating on the KEEPER EX THAT DUMPED ME which is just ridiculous… so I give my head a wobble, compose myself and get my shit together.  

The app has installed itself on my poor unsuspecting phone now at the request of my thumbprint and the app is all ‘come on then, what you waiting for…I dare you’…so I dare…the app is open and I start the ‘sign-up’ process…and 'I feel like a pig shat in my head' already…

INSTALMENT 2 – ‘LET’S FUMBLE THE SIGN-UP’ - THE LINK IS HERE.
INSTALMENT 3 - '[very briefly] DON'T FUMBLE THE SWIPE' - THE LINK IS HERE.
INSTALMENT 4 - 'MY FIRST IMPRESSION(S) OF THE FUMBLING MEN' - THE LINK IS HERE.
INSTALMENT 5 - 'WHEN I (ever so briefly) FUMBLED WITH NAZ' - THE LINK IS HERE.
INSTALMENT 6 - 'THE FUMBLE DATING APP NIGHTMARE CONTINUES' - THE LINK IS HERE.
INSTALMENT 7 - 'LET'S FUMBLE WITH MARK AND HAVE A LARK' - THE LINK IS HERE.
INSTALMENT 8 - 'AN 'OPEN LETTER' TO FUMBLE' - THE LINK IS HERE.


TOUGH LOVE EVERY.STEP.OF.THE.WAY



2 comments:

  1. You know, I tried this app --name not to be mentioned-- a few years ago and I agree with you. A lot of men are just lazy and this perpetuates the laziness. I had a similar experience. They all sat back and waited for me to make all the moves. But that's not how I operate, so this app was a massive fail with me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're so right. It's only going to work for entitled and lazy ass men seeking doormats...you're so right! I like a man to be a man not a lazy little bitch!

      Thank you for your comment.

      Delete

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