Saturday, 16 March 2019


This version of 'When You Are Having A Tough Day' is the no nonsense grow-a-pair post. The explanation for approaching this topic in two different ways is explained HERE, so best read that first to put everything in context.  The link to the Sympathetic Version is HERE and is not essential reading, cause you're kick-ass Personally, for me, this, 'The Kick Ass' version is the one that I would prefer to read if I were looking for support to get me through a tough ‘un, but everyone's different and it's what feels right for YOU that is important…so...

...because this ‘abnormal’ emotionally out-of-control-ness is ‘normal’ when you are going through breakup and aftermath trauma – so as the realistic and prepared person you are, you were expecting at some point that the ‘I have to reach out of him now’ day would come?  Well, here it is!…and I hope you haven’t DONE THIS to YOURSELF.  If you’ve been listening to love songs that REMIND you of him/her or visited the place where you had your first date etc, well – THIS is the consequence of behaving like THAT – like a great big numpty.  BUT, I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt and work on the basis that you haven’t conspired to give yourself a shitty day, it’s just come about (RIGHT?)  You switched on the radio and YOUR song was playing – how could you have known?

Right!  Well.  For whatever reason, today is a god awful shitty day, and it's going to like...

Fab!  So what you going to do about it?  You’ve recently been unceremoniously dumped, so of course you are going to have crappy days.  So don’t whine about it or be shocked by it.  You’ve got to get on with it and see it as a challenge.  The aftermath was going far too well(!) anyway, you’re a flippin’ pro, so now you’ve got a challenge.  This challenge, if you succeed is going to make you stronger – if you lose it it’s going to make you, I’m afraid, oh so much WORSE than you can’re gonna be a loooooser!  You’ve got to get through this bugger of a day with your dignity intact and without damn well reaching out to that ex.  You don’t need to tell your ex that you’re having a tough day and it’s all their fault – the hell you do!

So the aim, on a tough day when it hits you in the face like a bitch is to accept it as a challenge and hit it back in its face like a bigger bitch…and then, when you’re over the bad day, you can revel in your success like a smug ‘un.

To get through this day you’re going to feel ‘naked’ because I’m telling you to strip yourself of technology.  If you can’t get through the day/part of the day without your phone, well, yeah, that’s quite a concern in itself…so I’m going to assume that your phone is capable of being detached from your hand.  It’s a phone, not a limb.  You can also do without your other substitute limbs that you could rely on to pester your ex with and on this shitty day actually, y’know – leave the house without techno-limbs?  How’s that for a thought?  It might seem like a strange concept at first, but you’re going with it.  

This is the concept; it’s unique and different, like YOU…’You go out; your phone doesn’t’.  You aren’t taking your phone today, your phone needs a rest – it knows everything about your breakup, it probably delivered the breakup news to you – let it rest.  You can tell your phone all about your day when you return home triumphant.  Great!  Now that your phone-limb is detached, you can do some excellent things. 

You can go swimming – you’re phone doesn’t like swimming, but you do – so off you trot!

...but you don’t have to ‘worry’ about that today: you can go now.  So do that.  Off you skidadle.  Go to the gym without looking like ‘one of those people’ who are half-heartedly swinging a kettlebell in one and texting with the other.  Do something fun or relaxing or spontaneous or boring, I don’t care, just do it without the enabler, do it WITHOUT YOUR PHONE! 

If you don’t have the technology on you to facilitate reaching out to your ex then you have no choice but to power on through your day, kicking ass…and I know that you aren’t desperate enough to conspire to bump into him/her or knock on their door for god-sake.  IF YOU DO THAT – WELL – THERE WILL BE MORE EVEN WORSE DAYS TO COME...and I’m not talking to you anymore and if I do talk to you it’ll only be in the form of a frustrated YELLLLL!!

When you are feeling less inclined to contact your ex, then great, get out the pool, get off the horse, end your gym session and you can go home.   The sooner you de-emotion, the quicker your gym session ends and ahhhhh, you can see your beautiful phone, your treasured laptop, your beloved tablet.  Think of that!  You can see what your phone-limb has been doing whilst you’ve been away, it’ll be written all over it’s screeny face.  Just DO NOT under any circumstance give in (translates: fail).  You will look like a weak willy to your ex and you’re ruining the healing process.  If your ex is going to come back to you, it is not going to be and it SHOULD NEVER BE ON A FUCKED UP TOUGH DAY, WHEN YOU ARE ‘ON ONE’.  Your ex wants to come back when you are having a great day; when you’re at your greatest, not when you are a crying, heap of emotional mess.


Did you make it through your tough day, without contacting your ex?  Or did you.....FAIL with a capital F.  Let me know in the comments below, if you like...


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