Thursday, 21 March 2019

I THOUGHT THE RAC WAS STALKING ME BUT IT'S ACTUALLY THE AA...






My latest ex (‘The Keeper’, who dumped me) allegedly has a management position at the RAC AA (if this company does not exist in your country, it deals with roadside-vehicle-breakdown type stuff).  So I’m finding the following quite odd; very disconcerting.  Because I think the RAC AA is now stalking me.  It’s literally everywhere I turn.  If I’m on my way to work they’re assisting some poor bugger whose car has broken down in the middle of the carriageway whilst steam spews out of the engine like dry ice.  RAC AA advertising, products and propaganda is EVERYWHERE.  If there’s a second Brexit referendum vote, I’m going to amend the ballot card; replace ‘Leave’ with ‘RAC’ 'AA' and tick THAT as my casted vote…I AM THAT BRAINWASHED. 
    
Anyway, I don’t know what is going on here!  Is this a sign that my ex is thinking about me?  A sign that my ex is going to bankrupt the RAC AA by pouring all of its company resources into tracking my every move?  Is he instrumental in coordinating a very grand old hammer-and-tongs ‘DON’T FORGET ME; I’M STILL HERE’ campaign directed solely at me and has the entire company’s employees doing his dirty work?  Or is it just pure coincidence?

My head is going to explode if I see any further reference to the RAC AA…it’s crept in slowly over the last four to six weeks.  It started with the odd RAC AA vehicle sighting here and there, but now it’s escalated…FAST.  And this is no word of a lie; my RAC AA week has looked like this:

RAC - AA-Thursday:           Right in front of my eyes, whilst waiting at traffic lights of a busy four way junction two RAC AA vans came from opposite directions.  As they came towards each other, both drivers were honking the shit out of their honkers and waving to the other as they passed side by side right in the middle of the junction – it was like the red arrows only with vans; and there were two driver-pilots involved, not nine…but the synchronicity was spot on!  On the way home from work an RAC AA vehicle was towing an old banger with remarkable skill.

RAC AA-Friday:                Stopped at my local convenience store where the biggest RAC AA flat-bed-thingie-lorry I have ever seen was recovering two vans that had collided.  Also passed two smaller RAC AA vehicles and later spotted roadside assistance, kindly being administered by the RAC AA.

RAC AA-Saturday:           RAC AA flyer pushed through the front door and also had to swerve to avoid hitting an RAC AA van on a local country lane cause it was driving too bloody fast and taking up the whole road.  



Opened my post and received a card from a friend.  It was a generic card sent to all of his friends confirming his new address which is out in the sticks.  Attached to it was a computer generated RAC AA route finder print-out directing us all how to reach his house from his nearest town.  Are my friends in on this too?

                                   RAC AA-Sunday:        Opened the clingfilm stuff around the Sunday newspapers and out spews an RAC AA flyer, letting me know about their best offers.  Is The Independent in on the stalking?  On the way out and back I passed four RAC AA vans.

                                   RAC AA-Monday:       Checked ‘Go Compare…Go Compare’ as my car insurance is due…RAC AA right up there as the number one cheapest option for my car.  There are hundreds of insurance companies about, but no…the RAC AA has the best deal for me?   Also received yet another RAC AA flyer through the front door and passed three RAC AA vehicles on my travels.  



RAC AA-Tuesday:            Visited my local Tesco (equivalent of Walmart, dear USA reader(s)).  I’ve not so much as stepped through the doors and I’ve got an RAC AA representative in my face.  He’s telling me about all their great services…Yeah mate…I already know… He’s trying to sign me up (or obtain proof to take back to my ex at headquarters in the form of my name in my own handwriting with signature?) to show that he’s done his job for the day.  Does he get a bonus or a promotion if he can attach forensic weight to the fact that he engaged with me and can categorically demonstrate that? 

RAC AA-Wednesday:      Crawled along 40 miles of motorway road works, which took around two hours, with an RAC AA driving school car in the next lane for the entire duration.  Got to work and was handed a bundle of papers with an RAC AA letter addressed ‘To Whom  It May Concern’ on the top of the pile.  Passed five RAC AA cars on my way to the shops and back and then whilst speaking with a neighbour she informed me that her husband was now roadside assistance, working for the RAC AA.  I can see his RAC AA car parked on the drive from my hall window.  I swear there’s a dash-cam in there; pointing at me!
 
Suddenly, broken down cars are trending, but only ones where the drivers have RAC AA coverage?  …and I want to know, where did the AA Green Flag go? 

And RAC AA route planner?…what happened to Google Maps?

And RAC AA insurance cover?…what happened to Churchill; oh Yesssssss?

And RAC AA stands in supermarkets?…what happened to the Sallie Army? 

And RAC AA driving instructors?...  what happened to BSM?

And RAC AA letters at work?… why am I being handed totally-irrelevant-RAC AA-shit?

And RAC AA employee-neighbours?…has the RAC AA suddenly achieved worldwide domination and become the ONLY company recruiting new staff?

Those are the questions I want answered!!!  Preferably by the RAC AA!

I mean????  That’s in the past week!  I’ve never seen more RAC AA paraphernalia and RAC AA aid being administered this past week than in my entire life.  It just won’t stop.  It’s like an RAC AA epidemic and it’s spreading and it’s unstoppable, like wild fire.  Before meeting my ex I actually thought the RAC AA could be defunct, because I hadn’t seen or heard anything about them in the last 15 years of my life.

Am I thinking about this too deeply?  Over analysing the shit out of it?  What’s actually going on here? 
And I’ve just realised that RAC 'AA' spells 'AA' ‘car’ backwards – that’s clever of them – great marketing from the get go…and am I the dumbest person in the world because I had never realised THAT obvious fact before just now?  Let me never apply to be a Countdown contestant; it’s taken me all of my adult years to realise a three two letter anagram!

It’s a good job I’m not easily triggered!  It’s a good job that letters written in this order 'A. A' ‘R. A. C.’ do not trigger my emotions enough to make me want to contact my ex!  Can you imagine?  His phone would be blowing up back there at RAC HQ or whichever the hell branch he works at.  I feel as though the world is conspiring against me right now.  Really testing my patience, strength and resolve not to contact him.  I need to take my own advice and read THIS...

…OK…all better now!

Before I go to sleep (to dream about the bloody RAC AA which has actually started happening)…I have a question for you all….

'Do you think this RAC AA-spotting-stuff is a sign that my ex is thinking about me?’  

OH MY GOD…KIDDING…DO NOT ANSWER THAT! 

The real question is:  ‘Do you think I should take out RAC AA car insurance cover (given it’s the cheapest), or the second option, which is slightly more expensive but offers free complimentary breakdown cover from…the RA fuckin’ C? AA'?!!!  

You can let me know, if you so feel inclined, in the comments below…and has this kind of total-coincidental-type-of-shit ever happened to you?  

FOOTNOTE - this post initially made reference to my ex being an employee of the RAC...I felt that this post promoted the RAC because of all the products I kindly referred to...I asked them to reciprocate the advertising favour...but they didn't respond...these 'responders' apparently do not respond...so, I'm AA all the way now...my efforts to engage the RAC are photographed below...and AA...don't let me down!

































































































































































TOUGH LOVE.EVERY.STEP.OF.THE.WAY


2 comments:

  1. This is totally uncanny how you keep spotting them. It's definitely a sign, I believe in such things, I just don't understand what is the universe trying to communicate.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I KNOW...it is uncanny! Stalker-ish!

    ReplyDelete

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